It’s frustrating looking for a job as an “older” person

“You’re such a dinosaur, you can’t even get a seasonal retail job”, “You’re so out of date, that nobody wants you”, “Who wants an old woman with gray hair?”

As I find myself searching for employment, these are the voices playing in my head. On paper, I should look good. I have a degree from a prestigious university. I worked, in my younger years, for a Director of Education for the largest school board in Canada, a Chief Librarian in a large city, and a number of municipal politicians in the largest city in Canada. In addition, as a trailing spouse, I have taken jobs when opportunity was provided, including in a call centre as a tech, where I had to learn a great deal about a subject that I had no previous experience or knowledge about.

I have kept my skills current, and had a professional help me to write a better, presumable more effective resume.

I’ve even had interviews. One resulted in me being told that I did not have “enough education” for a bank teller’s job. The interviewer sounded shocked when I asked why a degree was insufficient. She had no answer, but clearly had not read that I hold a degree. I guess that bridge was burned when I called her on it. I was interviewed for another job recently. The interviewer promised that he would call “as soon as he had checked my references” and that the only hold up in him letting me know would be if he was unable to contact my references. My references all confirm that they have not been contacted nor is there any evidence of a call from this company in their call logs. I even followed up with a letter, thanking him for taking the time to interview me. After a month, nothing. I’m pretty sure I didn’t get that one either. And one store where I applied hired my daughter on the spot. Me? I didn’t even get a callback. She worked retail, part-time for four months prior to her application. I worked two years part-time at a large retailer. You decide what the difference is.

I am very tired of being treated as if I am old and stupid, as if every hair that turned grey removed some strand of intelligence. A simple courtesy would be to call and say that they have chosen a different candidate. I’m pretty sure the interviewer does not want to make up a reason to not hire me. It’s easier to just not deal with the situation.

This lack of manners is more the norm now than the exception. In a marketplace where minimum wage jobs are all that’s readily available, it seems that employers must be looking for younger, possibly more energetic, workers. A simple check with my current employer would confirm that I am capable of lifting, standing, and performing at least as well as my younger counterparts, and with as much energy. Moreover, I have never called in sick.

Back when I was younger, and starting out, my first two jobs were a result of shortlisting by being recommended. My brother recommended me to a call center, where I worked summers as a student and was offered a permanent position when I graduated. I was shortlisted for the next job by recommendation from a friend. It was a nice little municipal government job, and I was there for a long time.

After moving to the other side of the country, temporary agencies couldn’t wait to hire me out, and I was well-paid, and good enough at my job that, at one time, two competing agencies were working out between them how I could work for both, as employers were requesting me to fill their vacancies.

A move back home, and one call to the local branch of one of my employment agencies landed me a full-time contract, renewable at my discretion. I left there after another move, this time to another community and a full-time parenting role.

After my youngest child entered Kindergarten, I once again applied to a temp agency. This time, it was no time until I was hired by a library in a major city. After I had worked sufficient hours for the temp agency, I was hired on by the library and given a major pay increase, since, according to the Chief Librarian, “you deserve it”. They also nominated me for “Temp of the Month” and celebrated with a cake.

Another move, and another job, this time as a church secretary, which was in fact administration of the church office. It was a part-time job, and when they decided to make it full-time, I decided to leave, since the new duties would interfere with my parenting duties, and I had to make a choice.

A part-time job in retail followed, and a year off taking care of a sick family member. The next adventure was a full-time job in a wonderful tech company, learning how to do customer support and sales.

And, after another move and another year at home with a sick family member, I’m looking in earnest. I was offered my most recent job by a neighbour, and I took it in order to pay some bills.

Am I coming from a place of privilege? Certainly. I was given some excellent opportunities, and took advantage of them, but I made sure that I became an asset to every company where I worked. I always tried to go above and beyond and I’m pretty hard on myself when I feel I’ve offered less than I can.

Do I feel that I “deserve” better? Yes, but I also realize that I’m no better than anybody else. I work very hard to learn every task well, since they are all part of my job.

Which brings me back to references. Checking my references would reveal someone who is motivated and effective. But, with no check, no job. And therein lies my frustration.

And frustration is real. And damning to my self-worth. I know what I can do, what I have done, and how well I will ensure that tasks are performed, but not even getting the courtesy of a call or email to tell me that I have once again been unsuccessful in getting a job makes me feel worthless. It makes me feel invisible. It makes me feel old. And it makes me sad and anxious.

So, if you are interviewing people, please do not make promises to call them back that you do not intend to keep. Do not tell them that you will contact them as long as you can reach their references, and then not call those references. It’s not hard to check if that’s happened. And, please don’t make up excuses that someone, already over-qualified educationally for a job, does not have enough education. Read their resume. Comments like that make you sound foolish.

And please remember that you are dealing with people. Put yourself in their shoes and try to treat them with respect, even if you do not hire them.